Diet??

 I am left confused by my own actions sometimes. I say i will start off with my diet and ignore junkfoods but my mouth always munches something delicious and my eyes search for food. 

This is how my desire to get thin gets destroyed before starting. My friends laugh at me for dening food and tells to rethink as the food will be gone and i again start off muching food.

I wish the world valued fat people like me but sike they like thin and sexy girls only. I look at the mirror to look at the fat and bulged belly like the equator of the earth.

I like my belly and my fat body!

Every body shape has its beauty like my fat body represents cute!!

I am hurt

 Now, the feelings for him are scattering,

Even the birds are not chirping.

When I look at his dear darling,

I can't compare nor I am daring.

I don't know why but the feelings are fading away in a dramatic way. I loved him so hard and now I gave up even before I convinced my feelings to him. Maybe I knew that he was going to reject me, or I knew that I am not capable to be his. 

Still, I will keep this spirit up because it doesn't pull me back from anything and I am okay with it. Fate has decided it for me, and I have no option to ignore it. I am confident that this departure will make me a better and stronger me. 

I am waiting for you.

 It's summer again and the same season the first time i crushed on you.

But it is the third summer right after i loved you.

Seems like yesterday but it has been three years now.

I am still liking you but you never notice me.

I like your eyes which i desire to look at always and i love you which i wish to have.

But you know not everything goes as we wish just like the day you walked away with her.

I was left speechless and emotionless for a day.

Still it is fine cause if you love her than i cannot force you to like me.

Cause i know the feelings of unwanted.

I will love you and always will admire your eyes.

Stay with her and never leave her cause girls are soft hearted you know it.

I will try to hide my feelings for you just for you.

To my secret crush.

                                  - crush 68>

Sorry dear!!

I am so happy to know you like me but sorry cause i never wanna fall in love again. 

You are kind and a patient boy but yet i am not made for you. 

I like you as friend and will forever appreciate your love towards me.

You cared and supported me whenever i need but this heart of mine is already broken.

I am lucky to have a true boy like you loving me but sorry i am a bad luck that i am not matched to be with you.

I know how it feels to not get the love you gave to others but you know i will appreciate the love of you.

You are made to be an angel who spreads kindness and love but i am an devil and i know only to destroy.

I wish that you get your love of your life who is worthy of you and loves you as much as you do.

My prayer may seem useless and meaning less but i wish you happiness in your life.

Sorry that i could not accept your love but i know there will be someone loving you as much as you love me.

                                        - you 63>

Cruel fate

How cruel a fate can be,

Sending an angel to hurt me,

I wanted love and support from her,

But I am left to be a Lier forever.

I can't control the fate, but I can't handle the pain of it as well. I want it to stop and give me some kindness, but it showers me the sorrow. Still, I will hope for the happiness cause the bad intentions won't stop me from hoping every day. You also should never let the bad moments haunt you but remind you that the happiness is on its way to you. 

I remember now that the fate told me that, " You might have encountered so many bad things or moments in life, but you should know that it reminds you that the happiness is coming on its way. If you happen to encounter happiness now, then the sorrow is on its journey to haunt you because it needs to teach you that nothing lasts for long or lifetime."

Self Talk

 

Him 

Oh.. when he cried,

left my heart dried,

and left the world upside-down,

with questions of scattered lawn.

I am sorry that the tears had to fall down in this moment but trust me from now you don't have to worry because you will forget me soon after this day and live a peaceful life which I snatched away from you. I know that I will be foolish enough to not accept your love for me but you know I don't deserve it.

I will remember the unforgettable love you gave me and will remember you as well. I am thankful for your love towards me and keep up the kind nature that you have.